Resumes: Raising the Stakes

How not to spice up a resume for work or school

Emma Li, Features Editor

Students applying for college often need to collect transcripts, essays, interviews, and portfolios, and may also require a resume. A resume is a single page document that tracks educational and work experience that highlights a person’s skills and abilities. Components of a powerful resume include strong, active verbs, and extensive detail. Elevated language is also a useful bonus. 

With summer break approaching, students applying to part time jobs may be at a loss as to what to write with only experiences of going to school every day, along with the occasional babysitting job. Although it is dishonest to exaggerate the truth while writing a professional resume, there is an inherent requirement to brag about existing for this long in the world. If someone is struggling with writing a resume, these descriptions blown entirely out of proportion may help. 



[I’m not telling you my address because that is weird and I already get enough college mail]

Portfolio: (shameless plug)

[email] | [phone number]



Parkway Central High School, St. Louis, MO                                                    Expected Graduation (if I don’t drop out first), May 2023

Weighted GPA: 5,000/4.500

Unweighted GPA: 69,000/4.000

ACT: 37

SAT: 5



  • Expedited communication between various interests groups in an educational setting through triweekly live media coverage (doing the school announcements)
  • Actively engaged in assisting young children in practical applications of speech patterns (correcting someone’s grammar)
  • Coordinated textiles in a pleasing visual format, applying design elements such as line, texture, and color into creating appropriate daywear for various occasions (putting an outfit together)
  • Commuted daily in a timely manner to report to a location of productivity (going to work or school on time)
  • Provided voluntary services in the form of semi-public transport for those in need (giving someone a ride home)
  • Consolidated assignments into a template for daily use in order to maximize student wellbeing and organization (keeping a planner or bullet journal)



  • Integrated audio media consumption into daily educational activities in order to create a productive environment (listening to music while doing homework)
  • Engaged in daily chemical processes of breaking down compounds in order to facilitate an environment within a body of organisms such that the system may survive in various climates and elevations (eating food)
  • Analyzed human behavior in various public settings with records in comprehensive organizational spreadsheets (people watched, or judged people and made notes about it)
  • Routinely sterilized porcelain materials at high temperatures in order to protect and safety and wellbeing of a gathering of four (doing the dishes)
  • Navigated across multiple levels of constructed surfaces while simultaneously wielding a mechanism used as a tool to sanitize various surfaces (vacuuming)
  • Systematically classified multiple varieties of fabric shades to the appropriate counterpart of solutions of a certain strain in order to maximize the quality of textiles for daily use before placement inside of a unit for distilling linen, cotton, and polyester (sorting and doing laundry)
  • Repeatedly turned pigmented sheets of pulped wood bound by needle and thread in order to pursue varying degrees of information, persuasion, and entertainment (reading a book)
  • Rotated the muscle structures within a body mass against polycarbonate secured to iron filaments used to revolve titanium alloy in a manner that propels one forward across various surfaces, including but not limited to grasslands and concrete structures (biking)
  • Implemented serrated carbon steel tools for the use of fragmenting life forms, and proceeded to assemble biodiverse organic compounds into a heated steel receptacle with dihydrogen monoxide for the purpose of enriching the household (making soup)
  • Continually doused an anthropoid in above room temperature water while scouring with solid acid and alkali, in addition to laundering the keratin extensions throughout its form with surfactants (showering)
  • Etched various caricatures in the flow of creative movement (doodling)



  • Composed, with the use of a data processor, information relevant to the topic at hand within both educational and social settings, information, queries and criticisms beneficial to the recipeint as the situation bids (sending emails)

  • Immersed faux fibers into a glass flask of nitrocellulose cotton for the purpose of tinting amino acid proteins on the edges of digits attached to extremities (putting nail polish on)

  • Sustained a methodology of imbibing liquids of medicinal properties in order to yield a high level of accomplishment over a 24 hour moon cycle (drank a lot of coffee to pull an all nighter on homework)
  • Allocated a location by surrounding it with candles, minerals, and other such offerings used to outline the shape of a pentacle in order to gather interdimensional life forms to broker a contract (summoning demons)